Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Domestic House Wife

Recently I have had a stronger stance on some issues that I really didn't have an opinion about. One of the major ones that I happily argue is Feminism and "Domesticated Women". Before you get all angry, at least read what I have to say about both.

The direct definition of Feminism is:

fem·i·nism

[fem-uh-niz-uhm] Show IPA
noun
1.
the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2.
( sometimes initial capital letter  ) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3.
feminine character.
Thanks dictionary.com! Now for the definition of "feminine":

fem·i·nine

[fem-uh-nin] Show IPA
adjective
1.
pertaining to a woman or girl: feminine beauty; feminine dress.
2.
having qualities traditionally ascribed to women, as sensitivity or gentleness.
3.
effeminate; womanish: a man with a feminine walk.
4.
belonging to the female sex; female: feminine staff members.

Now I have noticed the similarities in these words, but have been baffled by their different meanings. When I speak of feminists in this blog, I am directly speaking of the "crazies", the ones who go overboard on women's rights and protest dresses.

I believe in the domestic house wife. Yes, you read it right. I believe that a woman whose responsibilities consist of cooking, cleaning, and child rearing are the most blessed of all. If your husband can support your family and ever give you the option to stay home, it is a job. Now it does matter if you are good at your job. I don't think it is ridiculous that women have careers, I am one of them, but I think that happier marriages, homes, and children come the product of a housewife. I say "domesticated" not to be confused with the domestication of an animal, but "of or pertaining to the home, the household, household affairs, or the family" (dictionary.com).

I believe this for several reasons:

1: I was blessed to have my Mother home the first five years of my life, and I am so thankful for that. During that time I was bonding with my Mother and was happy to spend time with her. After she went to work again, I was stuck in "Before and After" care because both of my parents had to be to work before school started and didn't get done to come pick us up until a while after the school day. I would have taken any of those days to spend with my Mother or Father instead of pent up in a make shift zoo in the cafeteria at my school. I was properly socialized and learned manners young; things that parents don't have time to teach when they are working all the time. If I was able to have the choice to raise my kids and be at home for them, I would take it in a heartbeat and appreciate every moment of it. Kids grow up.

2: Cleaning is something I enjoy doing. I see alot of my military families have stay at home wives. Alot of them are productive and take pride in their job holding down the fort while their husband deploys and goes to work. The one thing I can't understand however, is why some of these wives who don't have a job, OR KIDS, sit on their bum all day on facebook or watching Lifetime Movie Network EVERYDAY. That would drive me nuts, as said wife or husband. That house should be kept clean! I see wives who work and have kids somehow manage to keep a clean house, how come someone without a job or kids can't? I like to clean and I do it because I am a tad OCD. It isn't spring clean all the time everyday, but it is kept up and presentable (unless there was a party last night lol). It drives me nuts that these kids have wives who sit at home and don't treat being a housewife as a job, because IT IS!

3: Cooking is fun, I personally like baking better. Family dinners do make a difference. Sometimes the men like to cook, that's cool. But maybe you can ask if they need any help or clean up afterwards? If you are one of the blessed women with cooking skills, and your job is to be a housewife, is it much to ask that a meal be prepared that everyone can sit down and eat together? Sure there are pizza nights, and nights you eat out. 

Overall, as a housewife, you should cook. ESPECIALLY if you don't have kids. Like I said, some men like to cook, so maybe switch on and off and take turns so no ones resents anybody.
So if you are still angry about this, I have some special instruction that needs to be present for this all to sound appealing.

#1 This only works if you have a good man as your husband (or significant other). If you don't have a man who can function as head of household this all goes to crap. A man who is appreciative of the job you have at home and your efforts to keep up. A man who does not DEMEAN you for the job of housewife, but will give constructive criticism as well as accept any constructive criticism from you. A man who offers to help with chores and maybe cook once in a while. This is the ideal man, and none of us women are perfect either. A strong communication skill set must be at hand here so that everyone works as a team instead of a dictatorship.

#2 You have to hold up your end. I hope all you ladies take pride in your work. If you are a housewife, this means your kids, your house, and your cooking. A boss in the professional world can give you an evaluation, and if you fail to do the job you can get fired. In the marriage world this translates to positive and negative feedback from your spouse, and or arguments. I'd prefer to get a negative evaluation and improve myself before I'd start an argument about something as stupid as laundry or the noodles being over cooked. I see too many housewives not taking their job seriously and not showing pride in it. I also see men who don't appreciate the things their wives do, they expect it but do not encourage the wife or give positive feedback. This is a two sided arrangement.

So to all the people who may be offended by this, I just want to let you know I haven't been a housewife yet. I've been working, going to school, taking care of my animals, AND keeping up with housework in the blessed home my good Lord gave me. I would absolutely jump for joy if ever given the oppurtunity to do just the "housewife" part, because like I said, that is a job entirely in itself. I would have a man who I'd be glad to do it for, and he would return the favor by providing for the kids and I, as well as respecting me as a person. Plus I like to wear dresses, so I would be wearing dresses alot :) Maybe sweatpants some days. I also don't have kids yet, so you're right, I don't understand how hard it is to raise a child, but I do know that they eventually take naps and entertain themselves, and eventually go to school. I also plan on training my children to help me with the housework for stickers! :) I say all of this because I know of women who do it all and they are awesome mothers and housewives, and I sit back in awe at their work ethic. Alot of them even go to college too by taking classes online or night classes. I never said women should be uneducated! That is even more admirable if they can juggle all that. 
Overall, I am overwhelmed by how big of a deal some women make over not being equal to men in all ways. Women aren't men, plain and simple. We got the brains, they got the brawn. Just kidding. I think some women are capable of doing amazing things and there are many women professionals I admire. I strongly believe however, if given the option in today's society, I'd go for domestic housewife. There was even a study done that proved that a husband and wife in traditional gender roles were happier in their marriage! (Mind you, the husband has to fit his billet as well as head of household/ God in marriages makes a difference as well) 

These are articles I found interesting:

And last note; why compete with your husband professionally when you are supposed to be a team. You are both just as important as the other. If you both put eachother first, you will be happier. If you treat eachother with respect and live by the framework of a "bible" marriage (meaning Husband head of household, then wife, then children), you may just realize you will argue less and work together more. Housewives that don't do anything, get off the couch and be awesome at your job!

I'll be interested to know if this works, so feel free to give any feedback.

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