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Yes'm, it has been quite a while since I last wrote. Needless to say it is about time that I had some time to do what I enjoy doing. I love writing and inspiring; I love encouraging and keeping the public resilient. But what keeps this young woman going? God has everything to do with it. Since I have been going to church, bible study, and attended a religion class at my college, it seems this is a never ending source of encouragement. Thank God for my supportive family, and friends. Thank God for the wonderful blessings. Sometimes I need my battery recharged, so I fled to Michigan for three days. It was a wonderful time, and I loved the surprised face of my Mother, and the surprised voice of my Father when I told him I was ten minutes away from his house. These are the memories I hold dear when they are made. It didn't seem like long enough, but it never is. I was accompanied by my PIC Bella Lucia  and we made the road trip both ways. It is always interesting stopping in every state and traveling through time and culture. I am astounded by God's creations. The hills of West Virginia, the flat lands of Ohio, and the beauty of the leaves turning colors as I reached my destination. As I drove, I did a lot of thinking. I have been going through a lot lately, and I don't air out my dirty laundry, but rest assured I will make it, with God and my amazing support system. It feels like a lot sometimes, but I trudge on and I lay my worries to rest and live every day one day at a time. I pray the Lord guides my steps, and directs me to fulfill my purpose on this Earth whatever it may be. I feel blessed to have so many paths available to me, but my fear of deciding where to go is my worst enemy. The Holidays are coming up and will grant me some rest and time off to work on myself and my relationship with God. I have so many dreams and goals, and there are so many ways to obtain them. I need to come back to the Resilience Reservoir sometimes to refresh and renew myself, and it always does the trick. Getting it down in typing always helps me vent in a healthy way. Lord only knows how to comfort this soul. I also want to refresh myself by posting a poem that others may relate with;
I am the silence,
That comes before a storm.
I am the light,
That comes in one form.
What ever shadows pass,
I am here to live the dream.
I wear a smile outside,
I may be sadder than I seem.
Sometimes I get tired,
And I need some time to rest.
It takes the very most of me,
To give my very best.
The love and life is full,
But the tension is creeping in.
I am able to conquer all things,
If I give my trust to Him.
Faith and Pray, Faith and Pray,
I try to do that everyday.
Some days its hard,
Some days I want to be alone.
But I remember what his death has shown.
I rise and fall, I walk and stumble.
I just try to love, and keep myself humble.

I know I am loved.

Adversity and Happiness

Through adversity and life's trials, we often find hope and happiness if we choose to. It is our option to let something bring us down, or lift us up. The problems in our lives should be considered blessings! If God never gives us more than we can handle, and we feel like our plate is over flowing, he must really think we are capable of handling it all. Some have worse happen to them than others, but regardless of who you are or what you have been through, it is ultimately our choice on how we approach each trial of life. I wanted to pity my self and sit in a corner and just cry and feel bad for how horrible things were happening to me. But I soon learned, if I thought I was alone, I was very wrong. I have never been truly alone in my whole life. God has always been in my life, rather I realized it or not, he has always looked out for my best interests. Even though I couldn't understand it at the time, I see now that every life changing event that I have incurred has done something for me in some way. Whether it was a test, or to make me stronger, or to show me I was capable and strong when I felt weak, there was always a reason for everything. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and that paths cross for a reason. I have always felt that my life works one day at a time and light comes to the dark places as long as I push forward. It is when I wallow in sadness or don't want to keep going that I find myself lost and without progress. It is times like these, when I am confused or lost, that I call on God the most for the answers I so desire. He may not answer me right away, but there is a comfort in the communication that makes me feel better and more secure. I know in my heart, that I may not understand it now, I may never understand it, but it is all for a reason beyond my understanding. I am so blessed that God tests me, like a top ten student, he give me the most quizzes so that my faith and love for him develop into something that will help me live a happy life. He is testing me because he knows I can withstand it, and he knows I need him to make it through. What better excuse to spend more time knowing God because you know that in Him, all things are possible. I try to think positive when things are the darkest, because it is in the darkest hour, that we really notice the light.

Strong Heart

Often, there is a person who you love so much, you would do anything for them. You would withstand pain, neglect, doubts, and anger to be with them. We all have been in love, one or more times, recovered and moved on many times. This is the time when we feel most broken, yet it is possibly the strongest we will ever be. A strong heart can love through anything. A strong heart knows when to let go and close wounds of the past, and carry on. A strong heart knows when enough is enough, and when to pull through. In your weakest moment, when you feel most vulnerable, that time is when your heart is growing stronger.  You are a strong heart, and you have earned every battle scar that got you where you are today.

POEM

Reserve your thoughts,
Though they are many.
Keep your mouth shut,
Don't make a sound.
You only pay.
You pay and pay,
and never get back.
You are told all things you lack.
No matter your burden,
Or the price you pay.
You should never feel this way.
Your drowning and falling,
All at the same time.
And what you want,
You will pay every dime.
Resent or regret,
It is all red in the balance.
Your beauty does matter,
Inside is what matters.
But the blind do not see,
And the twist is not here,
Your bliss is agony.
If only you could hear.
The words in my mouth,
Will not hold steadfast.
I will always be first,
Never your last.
And what kindof fire,
Would not burn as I do?
What would you have done,
If this was you?
Behind the doors,
Never seen but heard.
I finally speak,
My rearing word.

Lesson In Resilience

What is resilience? Dictionary.com gives the literal definition:

re·sil·ience

   /rɪˈzɪlyəns, -ˈzɪliəns/ Show Spelled[ri-zil-yuhns, -zil-ee-uhns] Show IPA

noun

1.

the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2.

ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

 

My definition is quite similar but with a twist. As humans, we are left to the world's imperfections. We are mortal, and sinners... These facts are obvious, but not many people realize how much control they have. We cannot control the world, or the people in it, but the person we have the most influence over, is ourselves. We as individuals have needs, wants, and many other things that make us who we are. Our individual tastes create our overall outcome of personality and ultimately, the direction of our lives. Retaining resilience is very important. The world can bend us, break us, wear and tear on us, and it is up to us to "bounce back" and stay on the right path no matter what. If everyone took the time to take proper care of themselves; mentally, spiritually, and physically, we would see a decrease in depression, suicide, and overall unhappiness. We have the power to overcome so many things. The human mind is very powerful in itself. "Mind over matter" is not just a saying. With conditioning and practice, I believe one can become very strong as a person. Life itself conditions many of us, putting us through constant trials and throwing obstacles our way to help us become better people and stronger beings. Being "flexible" or "living on the edge" as well as "flying by the seat of your pants" may be examples of resilience in some peoples eyes. So in today's lesson, this is your homework:

 

1. What is important to you, and what do you plan to accomplish in life?

2. Do you think the glass is half full?

3. If something doesn't go your way, do you think all is lost?

4. How do you treat other people?

5. Do you feel strong? What could/or has make/made you strong?

6. Do you make time for yourself? If not, why? If yes, how often?

 

Take time to think about your answers, and meditate on them. I hope this brings you peace.

 

 

Royal Rant

Yes I am up this late. Yes, I am drinking black coffee. And I am blogging. I am outraged. I just realized that athletes get paid more than my brothers and sisters in arms. You mean to tell me... OK... you mean to tell me that my comrades all fight for our freedom, INCLUDING but not limited to, sports! They give their lives for you and athletes have to THINK about if they are being offered enough money to play for a team? SERIOUSLY. Oh, a million isn't enough? What about my fellow Marines who have too worry about getting blown up and shot at every day on a deployment? What if they just said, "Oh, I don't get paid enough, let the free country we know go to shit because the government isn't willing to pay". SCREW that! I think the athletes who get to have fun all day and live in mansions should get paid what we do, and we should get paid what they do! Oh, you want me to go on a second deployment? I want a million dollars... Third deployment?? Two million dollars!

It sickens me to think and see all the mental and physical stress our armed forces go through and some end up on the streets! So sad... And that my friends, is my Royal Rant of the evening...

POEM

You bend her,
You break her,
but don't you ever mistake her.
She is a fire,
and your desire,
But don't you ever hurt her.
She is sweet,
She is kind,
But one thing you may not find.
Love her,
Show her.
But don't you let go of her.
If she is crying, console her.
If she is angry, slow her.
She is power,
Beyond what you have seen.
Don't make this sweet girl go mean.
Fire lives in her heart,
She is lovely and smart.
What of her would you break,
When one so strong is at stake.
You bend her and break her,
But don't you mistake her.
For she is the one you chose,
and you should hold.
Close to your heart,
Don't you tear her apart.
Does one blemish the soul,
That is made of gold?
And does one not know,
What they have until it is gone.
Away you will be sent,
She is heaven sent.
And you toss her aside,
and take no pride.
That she is yours.

FATHER

My Father has always been a very important part of my life. As my Mother has also. But one thing, above the many others, that I need to thank my Father for, is raising me as the oldest son. Now, I don't think he meant to do this, but it paid off in the end. I was taught to stand up for myself, take care of myself, and support myself. These are qualities that my Father instilled in me and that I exercise to this day. If something needs to be done, I do it. Even though it is way easier to bitch and complain and more fun to watch my Husband try to figure something out. I'd rather do it myself. My Dad also always said three things that stick out to me. He said "Everything always works out in the end" "Always be honest, don't lie to me" and "If it is meant to be, it will be" and these three pieces of advice have all, or individually, been fitting to apply to any problem I may have. I didn't know it, but my Dad was giving me life skills and tools to help me in my adult life. Here I stand, with a metaphorical tool belt, filled with more than enough answers to anything life may face me with. I've been told by my husband that I speak of my Father often as if he were a God... Well he isn't God, but I have a deep respect, and strong love for him that makes me clean the house like a crazy woman before he comes to visit. I am always looking for his approval and acceptance, and now I have learned something new. My Daddy will always love me no matter what and he only wants what is best for me. That is all he ever wanted. After years of bad boyfriends, stupid decisions, and procrastination, I now realize what all the fuss was about. He was just preparing me for the biggest battle in life. Which is life itself. He knew that one day I would be off on my own and have to fend for myself, and he wanted me to have the fullest arsenal of life skills possible to take care of myself. I hate to think about it, but one day my Dad won't be here anymore. You know that part in "The Lion King" when Simba's Dad, Mufasa, falls into the ravine?? And Simba;s cry of desperation trying to wake him from endless sleep echos through the valley? Yeah, I almost cry at that part every time. You know why? Because I think of the day when my Dad is going to pass away, and I feel Simba's pain, and imagine myself in his position. The heartbreak and horror I will feel is unthinkable at this time. I love my Daddy, despite the fights we may have had over the years. He is my Father and I will always love him as he loves me. Unconditionally.

The Bond

 Thank you dictionary.com, but you still haven't found the words to describe how awesome my dog is...

com·pan·ion

¹    /kəmˈpænyən/ [kuhm-pan-yuhn] noun

1.

a person who is frequently in the company of, associates with, or accompanies another: my son and his two companions.

2.

a person employed to accompany, assist, or live with another in the capacity of a helpful friend.

Can you imagine a friend who always listened, never disagreed with you, and loved you no matter what? A friend who was happy to go wherever you wanted, whenever your heart desired? Bella is that friend to me, because that is her only job and purpose. She puts her whole heart into it, and hasn't let me down the way some people have... Even when she accidentally makes a pee pee in the house. As humans, we are naturally complicated and complex. Dogs are simple, loving, loyal creatures that are forever friends. Could we use the way a dog values friendship and companionship in our own lives? Could you sit there and listen to your husband talk about how awful his day was without saying a word? Could you be genuinely happy and excited to do everything with one person? A dog's love is not the same as a human partnership, but it is outstanding to have. Bella is always happy to accompany me wherever I may go, whenever I want to go. She lets me cry and hold her, or trick her into thinking I threw a tennis ball without any animosity. She doesn't resent me or judge me. This bond is a strong one that will only grow as she grows, and I know every day, I will have her to come home to. She will always be happy to see me and glad to join me. How could someone not love a bond like this? Bella is still learning her manners, but I have learned patience from her puppy-like behavior. She has taught me what a true friend is, and how strong a bond can truly be between two completely different creatures.

Modern Day Goddess

Females... I'd say 90% of them want to be treated like Goddess', and 10% think they are a Goddess. regardless of what we feel, I think all of us, as women, have a Goddess somewhere in our soul. What is a Goddess? You might ask... Well men often view a Goddess as a beautiful, "hot or sexy" woman, with a bangin' bod. Or a "dream woman" that in reality could never exist or be "attainable". Some men believe this so strongly to the point where women are starting to believe it as well. Besides Venus razor commercials, we often times feel like we can't even compete with the type of Bikini clad beach babes in sports illustrated. Some of us are housewives, Mothers, factory workers... Soldiers... Or better yet, Marines. But the fact is, WE ARE ALL GODDESS'. A fighter, a lover, a strong, reliable woman is a Goddess. We all need to embrace this inner Goddess and do ourselves a favor and cultivate it. That inner strength is amazing when you feel it. Look up the Greek Goddess' and their stories for inspiration! Persephone, Hera, Athena, Artemis, and Calypso! Be the modern day Goddess you have deep down in your soul, and embrace everything beautiful in you. Men will do the same... I hope.